Tailed Beast

funny kick norris roundhouse roundhouse kick more tags.Official Chuck Norris Shirts .Top Chuck Norris FactsWhen the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris is my Homeboy. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. .Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Select ratingCancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5Cancel ratingGive it 1/5Give it 2/5Give it 3/5Give it 4/5Give it 5/5. . Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

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.I like it.All Chuck Norris Facts & Jokes Find all of the Chuck Norris Facts listed below. Click on one of the facts to have it printed on a shirt.

Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all the balloons. Today, this kid is known as Justin

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Average: 4.2 (184 votes)
   ..Some say he had a staring contest with the sun and it blinked and if you rub his beard you get 3 wishes all we know is he's called, Chuck Norris
  
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Average: 2.9 (147 votes)
   ..T.N.T explodes because it fears Chuck Norris.
  
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Average: 4.1 (18 votes)
   ..A man once fought Chuck Norris and won, leaving only with a broken arm, broken ribs, and a broken nose. Chuck Norris was 3 months old at the time
  
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Average: 4 (18 votes)
   ..In Harry Potter, they say "He who shall not be named". They are refering to Chuck Norris.
  
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Average: 4.6 (419 votes)
   ..Chuck Norris knows the meaning of life
  
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Average: 3.3 (32 votes)
   ..Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.
  
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Average: 4.7 (364 votes)
   ..When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
  
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Average: 4.6 (1576 votes)
   ..Chuck Norris can sneeze while holding his breath
  
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Average: 4.5 (4 votes)
   ..Chuck Norris can't give blood, he doesn't use it.
  
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Average: 4 (37 votes)
   ..The last time Chuck Norris cried he created the Nile river!
  
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Average: 2 (107 votes)
   ..Chuck Norris : The Game starts directly with the ending video.
  
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Average: 3.5 (40 votes)
   ..Chuck Norris is so bad-ass he can chop a lightsaber in half with his own fist